The help of man

Psalm 108:12 Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless

I have this thing about reading books instead of reading the Bible. There are a lot of really good, God-honoring books out there by a wide range of Christian authors. I think they have a lot of value. I know that I have been personally blessed by the works of AW Tozer, CS Lewis, Brother Lawrence, and more recently even Mark Buchanan and Andy Stanley. All these men wrote words that inspired me and forced me to take a long hard look at myself and my life and make some hard changes. For that I am quite grateful.

The fact remains, though, that none of these works can replace the word of God. I can spend 3 hours in a great CS Lewis book, but if I don't open the Bible and spend time there as well, what good is it? I hear all the time, "Well, this book I'm reading has a lot of scripture in it." That's a good thing, it is one of the marks of a good book and the way a person quotes scripture can tell you a lot about them. But when a book has a Bible verse in it, do you read it the same way that you read the author's words? I don't. Often times I'm so familiar with it that I just skip right over it, or I am presented with such a small verse that I have no idea if the context is correct or not.

I would not be where I am without Aiden and Clive (Tozer and Lewis, we're on a first name basis), but an even greater tragedy would be to exchange the reading of the actual words of God for words written by men about the words of God.

In the shadow

Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

The image of the shadow is a pretty common one, I think. The shadow of his wings, living in the shadow of the cross, etc. I've heard it a lot but never really stopped to consider what it meant.

A couple months ago we were at the beach. Aiden did what he always does at the beach, runs around like crazy. The only problem was that it was a hot day and he didn't have any sunscreen, and the kid has very fair skin and I didn't want him to burn. Kate went to find the sunscreen, but it took a little while to walk all the way back to the car to get it.

In the meantime, I followed Aiden around wherever he went and cast my shadow over him. If you know my son at all, you know that is a difficult thing to do. If he ever holds still for 5 consecutive seconds it is a miracle. But I didn't want him to get sunburn, so I followed and tried to keep him in the shade as best I could.

That's the only real frame of reference I have to this whole shadow concept, resting in the shadow of the almighty. What does it mean?

1 - I kept Aiden a little cooler. He was more comfortable in the shade than in the hot sun. I provided something for him that he could not provide in his own.
2 - As long as he was in my shadow, it meant I was close by and he was safe. When he wandered into the waves, I was there. When he ran through the beach grass, I was right there with him. Having my shadow meant having me always close by.
3 - I stood in between him and whatever threat he was facing, in this case the sun. Whatever danger there was in getting sunburn I absorbed in my own skin in order to protect his.

I think its that third one that strikes me the most, thought the other two certainly still apply. But especially when I hear the phrase "the shadow of the cross." Living in the cross's shadow means that whatever threat is facing me, the cross is between me and it. It's like the world is coming at me, unloading everything it has to try to trip me up, and the cross takes the heat. It absorbs the danger and the punishment so that I can rest someplace cool and comfortable.

That's the gospel in a nutshell. As long as we look up and see the shadow of the cross, we know we're in the right place.

futility

Psalm 78:32-33
"In spite of all this, they kept on sinning; in spite of his wonders, they did not believe.
So he ended their days in futility..." (NIV)

I don't want my life to end in futility. I don't want my days to be considered useless, good for nothing. There are certainly days that I feel useless, but I think that this might be talking about more of a useless course in life more than just a day here and there. I mean, these people wandered in the desert their whole lives, never making good on the promise of something better.

You have to believe that there is something better. Otherwise, what is the point?

who am i

I've been doing a bit of refining lately. Rather, it seems that maybe God has been doing the refining. I've always been somewhat contemplative, so questions of self and meaning and existence are not altogether new to me. What IS new is finding something that resembles an answer.

When the conversation turns to meaning and purpose, I'm always in something of a haze. Yes, I know that the chief end of man is to love God and enjoy him forever. Yes, I know that I am supposed to be God's servant in my generation. Yes, I know that I am supposed to protect my family and serve my wife and son. I know these things, but they are all sort of generalities that can equally apply to anybody.

The whole "40 days of purpose" craze seems to capitalize on this whole haziness that surrounds our life's purpose. The only problem is, I ended up with the same kind of generality I started with. Try this link for a great article on the 40 days of purpose:)

I'm one of those people who thinks that hindsight is really the only way to tell what God is really doing. The best we can do in the moment is the best we can with imperfect information. Time will only tell if the decisions we made and the paths we followed were the correct ones.

So when we talk about our distinct purpose in life and the clear vision of where my life is headed, I don't usually have much to say. I never would have guessed that I'd have ended up where I am now, and I'm always amazed at how much I might have missed if I had set my sights on something else.

I was reading this book by Andy Stanley called, "The Next Generation Leader." Now, I am not usually one for books about leadership either, but this one connected with me in a couple of areas. Specifically about refining what I am about, and only doing the things that I was made to do. Which presents something of a problem - what was I made for?

This is where I am beginning to make progress. Now mind you, it is not the kind of progress where I can sit down with my personal mission statement (smirk) and explain my 5 year plan to you. Rather, it is kind of like a feeling that I might be headed in something close to the right direction. Maybe it is a matter of trying enough wrong answers that I think I'm getting close to the right one. I don't know.

Maybe this is something that comes with a little more age. 5 years ago I cared nothing for the next moment, only the one that I was in. Today, I am still trying to live in and enjoy the moment, but there is also a little bit of perspective on what the next moment might bring as well. I'm starting to learn a little bit about the unique passions and gifts God has given me, and maybe how I can begin to set a course for the future that will take me in a direction that, if it isn't the right one, at least doesn't take me too far away from where God wants me to be.

If this all sounds rather vague -- welcome to my life. Believe me, this is as clear as it has ever been:)

Unfamiliar territory

I've known for a while now (since December 10, 2003 to be exact) that I have reached a strange and unfamiliar place in life. One such revelation came at a small group dinner, as I watched all the children run around playing together. There was a moment as I sat back and thought, "When did this become my peer group?" When did I sign up to be known as a part of the "parents of young children" group?

Well, I had another such moment yesterday. It happened when Dave, a former college roommate who now lives in Florida, stopped in for a visit. This is what made it an unusual visit for us:

This visit we got to introduce our sons to each other. We no longer talk about all the things we did when we were in college. Now we talk about diapers and sippy cups, food allergies and first words and baby sign language. The guitars we buy and the stuff we accomplish is always tempered with, "Hey, guess what my kid did today..."

I guess that's the way its supposed to be.