Sometimes They Don't Get It

Sometimes people just don't get me. That's fine, I can be confusing even to myself - and honestly a lot of the time I don't even get me. I do things or hear words come out of my mouth and think, "Why would I do that?"

Even though sometimes I don't get myself, I guess there is still this hope that somebody will eventually understand me, and then maybe they can clue me in a little bit.

It is really hard to write or teach or present something. Writing is very personal, at least the way I do it. I am a very guarded person, normally. Its just that sitting down with a laptop and an internet connection, somehow hunting for the right combination of keys on the keyboard helps me to sort out what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. It's the same way writing a sermon or writing a song. It is a part of me, it is part of who I am. It's like taking some of my own hopes, dreams, guts, goals, quirks, and thoughts and splattering them on a page or into a microphone. The end result is something very personal.

The problem is, sometimes people don't like it.

I guess it would be a lot easier to present, write about, sing about something that is not me. It would be way easier to have my "art" misinterpreted or misunderstood or disliked. I could stay aloof and untouchable. I could not care if anybody gets it or likes it. I wonder if that's why you hear so many lame love songs on the radio, written to lovers who don't actually exist. It is a lot easier to lay your fictitious emotions down on a melody than run the risk that people might hear how you really feel and not like it.

It's hard to be real, I think that the world we live in is always looking for the next best thing, the latest and greatest, and what is exceptional today is expected tomorrow. It is hard to be consistently authentic when every time you do it you run the risk of not just your art or work or whatever being slammed, but a part of your own self being destroyed. -- Is that why poets always seem so depressed?

All things considered, it is still the best option. Being yourself, that is. It is more painful probably, but the rewards are greater too. It takes more effort, but in the long run I still believe it is worth it. All it means is that you have to understand up front that sometimes people aren't going to get you. You may find yourself pouring your heart and soul onto a page, or into a song. You might finish it and hold it up triumphantly and declare, "This is the very essence of who I am! This is my most personal work!" And then you have to be willing to let someone read it or hear it and then say, "I don't get it."

That's hard to do. It's hard to not be liked, its hard to be misunderstood. But then sometimes I overlook the people that do get me, the people that do know how I'm feeling or thinking without me even having to say anything. It's like I become so focused on the ones that don't get it that I can miss out of the ones that do. I don't want to do that either.

I guess I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing.
I hope you get it.