We're watching a video resource from Andy Stanley in our small group. It's nothing fancy, just him preaching, but the content has been very very good. The DVD is called, "Life Rules" and it is all about our relationships with each other.
The last couple weeks have been about this concept of forgiveness, particularly of giving it freely. Since we are in a series at Lighthouse on Generosity, I would say giving forgiveness generously. That somebody hurts you, you give forgiveness. Somebody mistreats you, you give forgiveness. Somebody does wrong by you, you give forgiveness.
It's hard to do. I mean, he makes it sound like forgiveness is your automatic response whenever somebody offends you. Like forgiveness is supposed to become almost a sub-conscious reflex.
How do you forgive? I thought this part was very interesting.
You have to determine
what the other person took from you. You have to decide in your mind what they owe you. For example, a person lies to you. They took the opportunity to have an honest relationship away from you. They might have misled you, causing you to make bad choices. They robbed you of all the successes and hopes of making the right choice. A person might owe you 7 years of bitterness that you are carrying around, that person might owe you honesty or money that is rightfully yours.
once you have determined who took what from you - you have to decide that they don't owe you any more. Debts cancelled, forgiven.
That's it. Stanley argues that many times when we say we forgive people, we have never actually determines what they owe us. We just know that we are hurt and try to force ourselves to forgive. But in that case we haven't counted the cost. We have not identified the debt that needs canceling.
If that is not generous, I don't know what is. The be able to make a list of all the things that all the people in the world owe, the things that they took from you or withheld from you, and to say that they don't owe you any more.
That is what it means to be a generous person.
